seven days into spring, my favorite season and it is beginning to dawning on me that i will no longer bloom again.
You see spring for me has always been that time of year when everything is new again in nature. barren trees that were dead all winter are now are making a coming back more glorious then before. Flowers long forgotten are reclaiming their rightful spots. even the sun who has taken the winter off is slowly taking the stage.
it is also a feeling i get inside that i too can start a new,refreshed from a winters rest.anything might just be a possibility and within my grasp. but this year and all the years yet to come,(god willing)i will no longer be able to re bloom bigger and bright and this last winter there was no rest, nor will there ever be and as far as grasp goes, what
reach, i can't even close my hands....,and possibility's went wayside months ago.
the me that loved to garden at the first sign of spring,the me that looked so forward to to daily walks spent soaking in all the "new" nature had to offer. the me that spent hours making ready for a summer to be spent lounging around the pool,the me that thrived on all the outdoor outing with the boys. the me that planned, shopped and cooked extravagant family meals with all the bounty spring and summer had to offer.the me that roughed it in
great wide open (camped) and savored every minute of it.
the me i want to be and the me i am are so far from each other with no way to reconnect.
that me is gone an is never coming back. no re blooming in my future.not even a hint of that me is left except in my mind. it is going to take all the courage i can muster to face the cold hard facts, the physical me will have to live on inside my head from here on out. praying god will give me that courage and more and that i will be able to find peace in all that i can still do.
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